The test of our faith comes from endurance. The book of James mentions this and that tests should be considered joy. During one’s challenging times, however, a test can be difficult yet utilized to build endurance. Those words from James are challenging to witness when going through them individually/ Thankfully, God gives wisdom generously, and often, it is through the trials faced.
The journey through suffering, beginning with Bell’s Palsy to stroke, diabetes, and heart disease, plus visual impairment, has not been easy on myself or my family. I am now a quarter-million-dollar man for all practical purposes. But how can one put a price on their image of God dwelling within them? All those created in the image of God are priceless. However, it often does not feel that way in times of suffering. As I reflect on this journey, I remember being much like a sculptor’s clay modeled and continually shaped by the ultimate artist from all possible angles into His unique image, as expressed by the Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 3:18.
“All of us! Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him.” (2 Corinthians 3:18, MSG)
Jesus is shaping us from one degree to another every season, as James expresses in 1:2-4 counting it all joy during a refining season. Artists refine their work repeatedly to create the most impressive piece, and we are no different.
“My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its full effect so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:2–4, NRSV)
Traveling through the refining and defining moments, we see biblical truths revealing themselves, as the Apostle Paul shares in Romans 8:28.
“We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28, NRSV)
Every circumstance is to accomplish His plan and purpose. It is not always apparent at the moment or perceived. However, with faith and awe of the mystery God has in store, we must listen closely and discern where He is leading.
It is not unreasonable to somehow feel the psalmist’s pain from Psalm 6.
“To the leader: with stringed instruments; according to The Sheminith. A Psalm of David. O Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger, or discipline me in your wrath. Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am languishing; O Lord, heal me, for my bones are shaking with terror. My soul also is struck with terror, while you, O Lord—how long? Turn, O Lord, save my life; deliver me for the sake of your steadfast love. For in death there is no remembrance of you; in Sheol who can give you praise? I am weary with my moaning; every night, I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping. My eyes waste away because of grief; they grow weak because of all my foes. Depart from me, all you workers of evil, for the Lord has heard the sound of my weeping. The Lord has heard my supplication; the Lord accepts my prayer. All my enemies shall be ashamed and struck with terror; they shall turn back and, in a moment, be put to shame.” (Psalm 6, NRSV)
Psalm 6 is a lament of individual proportions for Divine mercy during my illness and ongoing battle with heart disease, hypertension, and diabetes that undoubtedly everyone will face. Countless times, Psalm 6:3 echoes my sentiments, asking how long this battle may last and praying for deliverance, redemption, and security in His steadfast love.
Psalm 6:6 found my tears drenching everything in grief that I felt as my lack of actions caused others undue burden for my inattention to self-care and ignoring my inner compass. The tears have not been without reason, as I can count it all joy despite my weariness as I have learned to see what matters. Physically, Spiritually, and emotionally, issues of the heart, from the heart, change everything.
Friends, I have a new lease on life that has to be different from the previous catastrophic events. I joke about the “stent” event now that four stents placed in my arteries have opened up an entirely new life. Everything stems from the heart. Out of the heart, all things flow to provide for our bodies, words, and actions. The condition of my heart has impacted all areas of my life; by grace, I have a new lease on life. To not live fully embracing God’s redemption during this time would be to cheapen His Grace. While the journey has been difficult, the reflection of the psalmist’s cries to God for the anguish felt, the deliverance, and confidence resonated. The cries, the prayers heard, and those prayers answered. Count it all, joy! We are all in a refining season and have a purpose. How will you champion the next phase?
For those who would like to help as the medical bills have been a burden, click here for details.
A quick update and thank you to those who have helped support. November has been unique as the journey to discover how the stroke evolved and all roads led to my heart. After wearing a heart monitor for two weeks, abnormalities were found that led to a heart LOOP monitor to follow me daily. Within a few weeks, an irregular heartbeat was found. I was beating too fast, causing a lack of blood flow and poor healing in my feet and lower leg areas. I was also having trouble breathing, and extreme fatigue. November has brought about the revelation of an abysmal calcium score and trouble in my arteries. I recently had four stents, and the good news is that there is relief! I have feelings coming back to my feet, and I can breathe well and walk to the top of the stairs to my car, all without fatigue. There is healing returning to the bruising in my hands, and I owe it to God's grace, mercy, and love. I also thank you for helping during this time, as the loss of income has been difficult. Your love, care, and compassion echo that of the Good Samaritan, and I am forever grateful to you.
Thank you on our behalf, blessings, Lew.
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