We must be the captains of our choices and champions of our health and well-being. If one does not captain their life, circumstances will. Circumstances have dictated my health and well-being, beginning with the stroke on July 28th. For far too long, I attempted to deny the elements that could have prevented a catastrophic event. Reflecting, it has become clear the warning signs, or compass within, was out of kilter. Much like a captain who refused to navigate the pending storm, my ship needs repairs.
Traditional psychology says I might be in a negative deficit, for example, a minus-five, and seeks to get me to a zero status. However, at a zero status, one may still feel unfulfilled, lacking a sense of purpose. Positive psychology suggests moving the needle into a plus-five existence, quantifying purpose and meaning, and affirming dignity as a human being.
As the ship’s captain, I must have an attitude I can, must, and will use to get through the storm. The impact of poor decisions regarding my health does not just directly affect me but also those around me. Everyone needs to check their compass and ask challenging questions here. How can one say they love their families when unwilling to be the best possible self for them? The message too many men send to our loved ones is confusing, if not confounding. Not taking the steps impacts everyone’s mental health and well-being. The look on my son’s face is the only face I remember being out of the house on a gurney with paramedics and medical professionals. It still haunts me, and I know it haunts him. How can he or my family think I loved them when I allowed myself to get into that predicament? I captained the Titanic and was negligent of the lives that mattered most. Men too often think of providing money, cars, vacations, or lavish goods as being great providers, but there is also an element of individual presence as being a great provider. Loved ones deserve better, they deserve more, and they deserve greatness above just good enough. Remember, “good” is the enemy of great, and one degree of difference makes all the difference. Men’s loved ones need presence over presents, and loved ones deserve that. Otherwise, there is a clear message that they are not fully loved. Loved ones deserve the best of ourselves, so why settle for anything less than greatness for those you profess to love? Ask yourself what your actions are when speaking to others. What is your compass showing, and how are you championing the ship as a captain?
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