Everyone struggles with the commonality of four primary battles: fear, doubt, insecurity, and grief. These emotions create a battlefield that scars our hearts. [1] Hearts are our internal gardens we love so much.[2] Humans, like gardens, must tend to the soil that dwells within the heart. The battles within the mind individuals face impact the internal garden. The tools the heart is filled with can leave scars or produce a bountiful harvest. A struggle develops between the heart and the mind, creating a situation no one wants to admit to. God created us to cultivate a purposeful life through His design.
A child’s heart is filled with fertile soil that will cultivate anything and everything planted. Therefore, the seeds planted are critical to production or destruction.[3] How often does one believe they are only loved based upon their performance? Too frequently, a parent may quote, “I love you, but…” it is here where the process of a destructive seed becomes planted. A fertile heart will reproduce into a healthy adult. However, love based on performance will often lead to the creation of an ugly monster called “perfectionism.”[4] While frequently seen as a positive trait, perfectionism can have significant negative consequences if excessive. Here are some of the primary dangers:
Emotional Toll of Perfectionism
- Anxiety and Stress: Constant pressure to be perfect can lead to overwhelming anxiety and stress.
- Low Self-Esteem: When mistakes or imperfections are viewed as failures, it can erode self-esteem and confidence.
- Depression: Chronic dissatisfaction and disappointment can contribute to feelings of hopelessness and depression.
Relationship Challenges
- Strained Relationships: Perfectionism can lead to unrealistic expectations of oneself and others, straining relationships.
- Difficulty Asking for Help: Fear of failure or incompetence can make it difficult to ask for help, leading to isolation.
Procrastination and Avoidance
- Fear of Failure: The fear of making mistakes can lead to procrastination and avoidance of tasks.
- Overwhelm: The pressure to be perfect can create a sense of overwhelm, making it difficult to start or complete tasks.
Physical Health Issues
- Chronic Stress: The physical toll of chronic stress can lead to various health problems, such as headaches, digestive issues, and a weakened immune system.
- Burnout: Excessive perfectionism can lead to burnout, a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion.
It’s essential to recognize that striving for excellence is different from perfectionism. While aiming for high standards is healthy, perfectionism can harm overall well-being. If you find yourself struggling with perfectionism, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor to develop healthier coping strategies.
Perfectionism is a battle, like plants in a garden fighting for space like joy and pain within one’s heart. Neither joy nor pain will cancel the other but must coexist as plants grow together.[5] Reflecting biblically, it is essential to look at Psalm 1:3: “They are like trees planted by streams of water, which yield their fruit in its season, and their leaves do not wither. In all that they do, they prosper.” (NRSV) everyone has a season of life, it is crucial not to give into withering. Where is the trust place to avoid the potential of withering? It is essential to reflect on Proverbs 11:28: “Those who trust in their riches will wither, but the righteous will flourish like green leaves.” (NRSV) Plant everything in faithfulness through the Prophet Jeremiah: “I will rejoice in doing good to them, and I will plant them in this land in faithfulness, with all my heart and all my soul.” (Jeremiah 32:41, NRSV) These Scriptures lead to the Prophet Jeremiah’s writings of (32:41) “I will rejoice in doing good to them, and I will plant them in this land in faithfulness, with all my heart and all my soul.” (Jeremiah, NRSV)[6]
Everyday garden metaphors are used to express life. The metaphors are taken for granted due to the frequency of use. Life and gardens require nutrients.
- I put down roots
- Nip it in the bud
- Cultivate goals
The beauty of these metaphors is drawing near unrelated ideas to clarify a visual point.[7] Comparing one’s thoughts toward a plant might make one think differently about self-compassion.[8] Everyone can identify with a plant and how plants require attention and nurturing, just as when one is caught in a struggle, self-deprecating thoughts replace nurture with weeds.[9] Within this space of struggle, the brain and plants share a commonality where neurons come together, creating a life-giving connection over and above the metaphor. Having suffered a stroke, this is an exciting area as two billion neurons may have been destroyed, but as humans, what is that number when 100 billion neurons are available. Good news comes out of the story as healing is available. Much like plants, neurons work close without a direct connection.
Humans, unlike plants, utilize the chemical elements of neurons or neurotransmitters to communicate.[10] Neurotransmitters impact one’s mood through dopamine and serotonin, thus activating muscle groups and helping the body rest and heal.[11] Neurons have different shapes and sizes, emulating vines, bushes, blades of grass, or even tree roots.[12] Reflecting on trees and a trip to California, the colossal Redwoods come to mind. Redwoods grow to 350 feet or more heights, yet their roots barely reach 10 feet into the soil. While shallow in depth, the origins spread horizontally up to 80 feet and intertwine with other Redwoods, creating a grove for stability.[13] Redwoods communicate in such a way their root systems connect with each other to form a foundation for all to survive. In essence, Redwoods thrive in communities that are not unlike humans. God has given all things a way to succeed in well-being. Well-being becomes an analogy to life in and through the garden.
For a garden to thrive, it must begin with the seeds. Seeds and planting are crucial for all to thrive. Through self-reflection, one must consider what seeds are being planted to be fruitful. What are we planting into the lives of our families, friends, and coworkers? Fruitful plants require quality soil. What if seeds become one’s thoughts and soil is found within the heart? How can an individual view the connection? Planting quality seeds or thoughts into the fertile ground or a fertile heart becomes a beautiful garden with beaming outward fruit.
Looking at Matthew 13, Jesus shares the parable of the sower. It is here that Jesus expresses the importance of bearing fruit. Jesus utilizes the parable of the soils as the farmer sows seed. Jesus defines three of the soils as fruitless, producing no harvest.[14] Notice that there is no spotlight on the farmer or blame for the fruitless seeds; the focus is on the soil quality.[15] Essentially, the message applies to how people respond to Jesus’ message of His Kingdom.[16] This is a perfect picture of life as well. Think about the seeds individually sown. It is crucial to sow good seeds with the understanding that some will be fruitful, some will wither, some will be doomed, some may develop as toxic weeds, while others will produce a hundredfold, sixty, or thirty as Jesus proclaims (Matthew 13:8ESV). It is imperative to understand the soil within our hearts to freely sow seeds without forgetting the soil within the heart must be fertile spiritual soil. Like the garden, the heart has roots tied to the mind, producing fruit and seeds while anchoring the heart to the fruit of life.[17] There is a garden within you. It is rooted within your soul. It is critical to embrace all your emotions as a battle wages war on your mind. This battle I know all too well, having survived a quadruple stroke, was afforded the opportunity to not only survive but to reflect on the soil of my heart. I needed to weed, fertilize, and adjust the soil toward spiritual rebirth and cultivation of the heart. My mind was undermining my soul in ways unredeemed pain multiplied through life-long denial. My garden had become overgrown, and despite all my theological growth, my spiritual seeds were sown on rocky soil. Grace saved the day and my life, and we never fully understand how valuable grace is until grace is desperately needed.
Bibliography
Brown, Jeanine. Matthew. Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2017.
Daw, Sonya. National Park Service. April 2017. https://www.nps.gov/articles/000/coast-redwood.htm (accessed September 15, 2024).
Phillips, Anita. The Garden Within. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2023.
[1] Anita Perkins, The Garden Within (Nashville:Thomas Nelson, 2023), XVIII.
[2] Perkins, The Garden, XVIIII.
[3] Perkins, The Garden, 4.
[4] Perkins, The Garden, 5.
[5] Perkins, The Garden, 5.
[6] Perkins, The Garden, 7.
[7] Perkins, The Garden, 7.
[8] Perkins, The Garden, 10.
[9] Perkins, The Garden, 10.
[10] Perkins, The Garden, 11.
[11] Perkins, The Garden, 11.
[12] Perkins, The Garden, 11.
[13] “Coast Redwood,” Redwood National and State Parks, accessed September 15, 2024, https://www.nps.gov/articles/000/coast-redwood.htm.
[14] Jeanine Brown, Matthew (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2017), 324.
[15] Brown, Matthew, 324.
[16] Brown, Matthew, 324.
[17] Perkins, The Garden, 13.
2 Comments
Sep 16, 2024, 10:34:28 AM
Lew Everling - Thank you, Regina, I am so glad you found this helpful writing—blessings to you and your family.
Sep 15, 2024, 10:26:54 PM
Regina Jeanpierre-Bryant - As I read through this blog, I did not realize the areas in my life that needed growth, particularly pertaining to how I deal with my own children. I have tried to make them perfect and caused anxiety and fear in my life by not trusting that God has a perfect plan for them. I need to pluck some weeds in my garden so that I do not ruin my relationship with my kids by putting too much pressure on them to be perfect. The pressure my parents put on me has passed down to how I treat my kids. This pressure can lead to strokes and poor health. I appreciate the scriptures and wake up call I received from reading this blog. I am going to re-evaluate the way I treat the people I love in my life and am going to also evaluate my own self-care so that I can enjoy life with my family and friends. Life is too short to not "weed, fertilize, and adjust the soil..." in my spiritual life as the author has so eloquently stated in this blog. I am truly thankful for these words of wisdom that was shared by my good friend, Lew. Many Blessings! Regina